Ironing Boards (Flat-Chested Women Unite!)

Yesterday, within the span of two hours I heard that two different women that I know (totally unrelated) have opted to get breast enhancement surgery. To be honest, these are probably the first women that I’ve ever actually known who have opted for the knife.

Now, I’m not here to judge anyone but, being the loudmouthed, outspoken advocate of Tiny Titties that I am, I can’t help but at least put in my two cents.

The last time I can remember truly lamenting the small nature of my rack I was in middle school. It was torture as the cool girls sprouted huge, round, squishy boobs and I stood by, the perpetual ironing board. Luckily, in high school I had the good fortune to rove with a band of gangly, skinny, flat-chested distance runners. Together we admired our streamlined silhouettes in the locker room mirrors, praising god for such blessed aerodynamicism. (I know that’s not a word. Deal.) We dubbed ourselves the ironing board crew and occasionally loaned our somewhat unnecessary sports bras to the “bigger” girls when they forgot theirs.

We dictated our own standard in which athleticism trumped sexuality and action was valued more highly than objectification.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love all you curvy ladies. But we’re not here to defend the C’s and D’s today. We’re here to stand in staunch support of the A and B cups of the world.

Flat-chested women of the world, unite. Join me on the Ironing Board Crew as we spread A-cup love throughout the planet.

My girls are small, pert, firm and perky. Just the way I like ’em. They leave my back in peace and stay clear out of the way when I headfirst dive into an ugly play at third base. They keep close to me as trot out a run and stand at glorious, firm attention when nibbled on.

This is a shout out to all my girls with less than bulbous chestal regions but, really, this is a command to all of you. Check out what you got, give ’em a squeeze. There are but few perfect racks out there and rest assured that they are not a guarantee of happiness.

Show yourself some love today. You’re downright hott and you know it.



Filed under life, motivation

5 responses to “Ironing Boards (Flat-Chested Women Unite!)

  1. Ah, I’m so glad I’ve never felt inadequate in this area. It just never occurred to me. Of course, part of that may be because they’ve always been pretty proportion to the rest of my body (petite 5’2″), so they’ve always just felt the right size. Regardless, I like to think no matter how small they were, I would never have such a horrible thing done to my precious body. Geez, I think it’s insane.

    The real deal isn’t about boobies, but the brain, attitude 🙂 Kinda cool when a guy tells ya’ he “got there” just by hugging ya’ 🙂

    A mega-breasted blonde co-worker once asked me if I were going to have plastic surgery what would I opt for? I’m sure she thought it would be a boob-job. I just grinned with confidence and said, “Hmm, I thought about a nose job once for about a nano-second — but I’d never do it. And you?” 🙂

    And I never reference ’em as small, they’re fab-uh-lous, the perfect size, lacking in nothing … they have feelings ya’ know, and talking nice to them pumps them up, hehe 😉

  2. Mike

    To all the Women of the world who THINK they are to small, you are wrong in my book. I believe there many more men like myself who are not attracked to jumbo sized mammaries that will or do hang down to their knees. After reading some articles on why men like perky smaller sized breasts, I must say that is in no way a reference to being gay.

    I have found that there is a power at large that seems to make guys, myself included, look at a large chested woman. I do not know why and it does not get me going in the least. Show me a small breasted woman wearing a top that shows her neck down to her navel and I will stand at attention.

    The media has created a vision of a woman that very few ladies will ever live up to. Why not create a new type of sexy woman that includes all body styles?

    If mens thoughts were really known, I doubt that ALL men like women with big boobs. I start with her face, then her mind, on to her personality, and finally how she feels about herself. That is what is really sexy about a woman in my opinion.

  3. Krissy

    I am a proud (most of the time) flat chested woman and I love this blog!!! We are so lucky in sooo many aspects, most of them you have already mentioned. I was thinking about it the other day as I was lying in bed. I like to sleep on my stomach and I couldn’t imagine trying to do that with large breasts, I think it would be sooo uncomfortable. Lol that alone would keep me from getting augmentation! Rock on flat chested girls! When we are 60 our boobs will still be perky and all those big chested ladies will be picking theres up off the floor!!! And it’s a plus that when I’m making love to my husband I don’t have to worry about giving him a black eye with some big honkers 😀

  4. Nikki

    I’m so glad that I found this blog! Almost every friend I have was either born with big boobs or are opting to go under the knife to get them. I sometimes get sucked into that mind set that I need them too (even though my husband is perfectly content with them and it helps that he’s an ass man). It good to hear that other women with small chests are content and proud with what they have. Not to mention all the positive features of NOT having large boobs. After nursing two children they are still perky and being a runner, it is a definate plus that my boobs don’t get in the way. I have an athletic build and I don’t think I would look right with a huge rack. Thanks for the reassurance of being proud of what I naturally have.

  5. LOL…As another boobage-challenged girl, I loved this post. The only time I’ve ever flirted with C-cupdom was when I was (ugh!) 30 lbs overweight. My natural state is somewhere in the A 1/2 territory, and that is just fine by me. I have NEVER wanted any more chest than I’ve been naturally given, and I agree that excessive frontal fluff just gets in the way and causes back issues.

    I’d rather be lean, strong, and able to get by with a basic $10 sports bra than well-endowed and forced to shell out $40-$50 for the industrial-strength, German-engineered, motion-control Shock Absorber models needed to keep 10+ lbs of gristle or silicone from bouncing around painfully when I work out.

    Besides, if I invest the $5000 that a cheap breast augmentation would cost in a Roth IRA now at an average annual return of 8%, in 30 years when I am ready to retire that investment would be worth $50313.28.

    And at age 62, I think I’d rather have $50313.28 than an artificial rack! 😉

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