Category Archives: bikes

I Heart Forest Park

I have been locked in the Westin LAX for 5 days straight without rest. Fifteen hours of work every day. Hotel meals. Boring treadmill runs at 5:30 in the morning.

When I step into the light outside the front doors of the hotel to catch the airport shuttle I am stunned.

This is the first sun I’ve seen in all those days. The first fresh air. And I use that term loosely because I am in LA, after all.

My flight is delayed after we board. We sit on the runway for an hour. I don’t get home until 1:00am.

And then, on Monday, there’s Forest Park. And my new riding buddy (who just placed 2nd in the B field!).

The day is clear and bright. Continue reading

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Did You Hear That Bell? Schools Out!!!

I prayed for rain.  Seriously – I prayed all night long.

The weather report last night said 70% chance of rain and I thought, “Oh my god!  God still loves me!!”

And then today… nothing.  Not a goddam drop.

I guess god is still really still be pissed off at me for sleeping with my church camp counselor ‘cuz he didn’t squirt out a single little shower for me last night or today.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zip. Continue reading

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Who are These European Bike-Commuting Hotties and How Do They Do It?

Ok, I give. I’m calling this one out.

So, many readers of this site will be unaware of the fact that I am very into fashion. My look is understated, and I wouldn’t call myself a fashionista, but I follow the industry, know my brands, have a specific point-of-view, and always review runway shows. All this to say, I’m an avid reader of The Sartorialist and one of the things I love about his site is that he frequently shoots women on bikes.

These women are always wearing something effortlessly flawless, often with high-heels, dresses, big scarves and large sunglasses. I love them. It’s ridiculous, I know. But I do. Continue reading

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Barlow, Thy Name is Mud

This year, cyclocross is a completely different ballgame.

I’m confident.
I have a team.
I’m not afraid.
I’m hungry.

No. I’m ravenous. Continue reading

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Filed under bikes, cross_crusade, cycling, cyclocross, racing, sports, Uncategorized

SnarkyPants Rides Again: A Bicycle Commuter Once More

When I left my job in downtown Portland, one of my former co-workers asked me if I missed riding my bike into work everyday. I answered honestly.

“Nope.”

Why would I want to make a 3 mile commute to a place that completely stressed me out? Truth be told, on most days my ride into work was the only part of the workday that I enjoyed. That tended to make the whole bike commuting thing a little bittersweet.

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Happy 37th Birthday, Portland Velo Style

Sal turned 37 today and guess what he did to celebrate? Yep, he rode his bike. (Shocker.)

But, not only did he ride his bike, he rode a phat set of new Mavic Cosmic Carbone wheels that his super-rad girlfriend *cough cough* kicked down for to honor the passing of his youth.

And not only did he ride a phat set of Carbones, he rode them in his cycling team’s annual century, which just happened to fall on his illustrious day of birth.

While he rocked his wheels over the 62 mile course, I opted for a less painful form of celebration and rode along with Ty to do some photo documentation. At the end of the day I shot 844 frames, and I don’t have the will, nor the time, to properly review and edit them all so instead I’m just going to highlight a few of my favorites. Continue reading

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Off to the Races

Sal and I are leaving tomorrow for Bend, Oregon so that he can participate in the Cascade Classic. This brutal stage race promises four bouts of Grade A suffering in a three-day timeframe.

On Friday they’ll race a Time Trial in the morning and then a Crit later that evening (ouch!!). Saturday brings an ass-kicking road race of 85 miles (the first 20 of which go straight up – check out the course profile), and Sunday puts the icing on the proverbial cake with a 63 mile circuit race.

This is the part where I prove that cyclists are far more insane than I will ever be.

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Confessions of a Front Brake Masher

And Physics said, “Thou shalt not grab thine front break in a panic whilst descending. Particularly so when thou art descending quickly over a large tree root in the middle of the trail.” Blessed be the Word of Physics.

Indeed. Such blasphemy invokes an epic battle – the struggle of momentum, deceleration, and center-of-gravity. You’re moving fast and as the momentum tries to keep you going forward, a deceleration force will try to swing you in an arch. The pivot point of this not-so-graceful arch is the contact point between the front wheel and the ground (cue the image of my body detaching slowly from my bike while careening skyward and then, suddenly, forest-floorward).

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Bike Racing is Dangerous

Sometimes I wish Sal would pick a safer sport.  You can’t take the bicycle-love out of that boy but there are days when I would sure like to.

I rode 40 miles yesterday out to Gresham, north to the airport and then down on the 205 bike path.  It was a nice ride in mild weather.  I didn’t need the arm warmers or wind jacket that I brought along.  I cashed out two water bottles and came home exhausted.

Zipping along on the fatty four-lane roads I took to head North across Gresham I was reminded about just how precarious it can be to be on a bicycle in traffic sometimes.  I chose wide roads with bike lanes but, even still, you always get an asshole or two who shout or scream at you as they pass by.  Meanwhile, you’re descending in the drops being careful to avoid the nasty grates that interrupt the bike lane about every 300 yards, which means moving left, closer to traffic.

I am good in traffic.  Confident enough to make sure cars can predict my movements, good with hand signals and vocal with appreciation when someone gives me the right of way or stops at a crosswalk to let me pass through an intersection.  I respect cars both because they are made of thousands of pounds of steel and also because I am also a car driver.  I know that it can be challenging to ride near bicycles when they do not use proper signals and it’s hard to predict their next move.

Even still.  It doesn’t matter how good you are, how smart you are, how communicative you are, or how long you’ve been riding.  Accidents can happen.

Every time Sal goes on a training ride I start to worry after he’s been gone for three hours.  He can ride close to 60 miles in three hours, so I know he usually won’t be out much longer than that.  When that number comes around I check the front door every 5 minutes and carry my cell phone in my back pocket, turned up to full volume.  My mind goes to bad places.

And training isn’t the only thing there is to worry about.  Group sprint-finishes in road races are about as dangerous a situation as you can get.  Here you’ve got a pack of 30+ riders barreling into the finish at well over 30 miles an hour (unless it’s an uphill finish).  One squirrely move, one blown tire, one slip on the pedals, one rookie who plays it too close and everyone is going down.  Hard.

There was a massive and extremely serious crash in the Silverton race today.  Because of Sal’s surgery he was not racing and I did not attend without him, opting instead to go to a barbeque up in Amboy, Washington with my softball team.  I got back to my email this evening to see that the OBRA email list is starting to deliver the details of the crash, including the conditions of the three riders who went down the hardest.

This is what I know so far:  The race was so severe that all of the other races for the rest of the day were canceled.  No one can remember a time when a crash has been bad enough to cancel an entire day’s racing before.  One member of Sal’s team has a helmet that is completely crushed to bits, and a concussion to match – he was taken by ambulance to the hospital from the race but has since been released.  Two other members of Sal’s team suffered more minor injuries including strained joints, road rash, and dislocated fingers.

All of our guys were lucky.

The guy who was hurt the worst had to have a breathing tube inserted on-site (performed by Jaime, a member of our team who is a doctor – he worked on the guy for 30 minutes getting the tube in).  Jaime reported that the injured man had dilated pupils and blood coming from his ears.  At the time Jaime was not sure if the injured rider was going to be ok or not.   He was taken from the scene by helicopter.  We are not exactly sure how he is going to be but latest reports indicate his condition is “extremely serious but stable”.

At least two other riders suffered broken collar bones and there was also a broken hip.  These are the preliminary reports and I’m sure there were many other injuries we’ll find out about in the days to come.

These are the moments that cause us all to step back, draw in a breath, squeeze a loved one, and really consider what the hell it is we are doing out here.

This was a Category 4 race – no one is winning any sponsorships, no one is winning any money, no one is going to be on the cover of a magazine.  Still, it has always been my policy to go as hard as you can, no matter what.  Who cares if you’re not getting sponsorships?  Go hard, be your best.  That has always been my way.  Only a few will get paid to perform sport, the rest of us have only guts and heart alone to play for.

But I’m a runner.  And a softball player.  And you don’t crash at 35 mph when you are sprint-finishing in a 5k.  And if you do get hurt playing softball, well, you’re probably not going to have your head crushed or your lungs collapsed.

All I’m saying is that cycling is dangerous.  More dangerous than a lot of other sports.  And the hot-shots in cycling present more of a danger than a hot-shot in other arenas.

Category 4 or Pro Rider?  Doesn’t matter.  This shit is serious either way.

Keep the rubber down and the ego in check.  Remember why we do this in the first place.  It’s supposed to enrich our lives, not put us in the hospital.

Of course, like I said, accidents happen.  Maybe someone blew a tire – what can you do?  Tires blow – you hope it’s not in a bunch sprint-finish but there are no guarantees.

Tonight I’ll light my candles and call my sister to ask her to dedicate some of her alter meditation time this week to Sal’s safety and the safety of all cyclists.  I’ll keep my cell phone in my pocket on high even though I know he’s safe and sound with his parents in San Jose.

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The Real Reason Behind All This Fitness Hoo-Ha

Sally just went under the knife.

Being in this waiting room has reminded me of all the really important reasons that we should do our best to take care of our bodies and minds.  When I get really tied up in measuring and restricting and calculating, it’s nice to have a moment like this to bring it all back into perspective.

Live smart so that you can live long.

Last year we discovered that Sal had a condition called Cholesteatoma.  Tons of tiny, benign tumors had grown in his ear for years, eventually tunneling through his eardrum, destroying it completely.  It had also begun to grow into and deteriorate his facial bone structure.  He was lucky – they caught it before it eroded his skull, exposing him to brain infection.

He had surgery last summer to remove the tumors and it took 6 hours to do the job.  Upon completion his surgeon pronounced it the worst case she had ever seen.  Luckily, they have not grown back in the past 9 months, and today Sal is able to have a second surgery in which they will reconstruct his eardrum with the help of a prosthesis.  Hopefully, this will restore a lot of the hearing that he’d lost.

Surgery is traumatic and invasive.  The body is not accustomed to be hacked apart and then resewn.  It’s a huge stressor on all systems and don’t even get me started on general anesthesia.  The better your fitness level going in, the faster you’re going to heal and the faster your recovery time.  Keeping your body in good shape is about a lot more than looking good, it’s essential for staying healthy over the long haul.

Sal’s recovery last year was astoundingly fast, impressing his surgeon to no end.  His drive to get well?  The bike, of course.  The faster he could get back on two wheels, the better.  He virtually willed himself well.

This year he vowed to be at top form going into the surgery to ensure a speedy return to the bike and to racing.  His gold medal last Saturday in the Oregon State TTT Championships was just the boost that he needed going into this.

Yesterday he came home from work with “33 of 252” written on his hand.

It was his overall OBRA ranking for Cat 4 riders – 33rd out of 252 racers!

“I wanted to remember to tell you!” he explained.  “I knew you would be proud of me.”

I am.

And so was the intake nurse this morning when she noticed it as she inserted the I.V.

“We’ll just put the IV over here,” she said, careful to avoid the barely visible stat.  “That’s pretty impressive.”

She’s right.  It is.  And Sally has earned that number with hours of suffering, sweat, and lactic agony.  I know he’ll come out of today’s surgery fists flying, ready to heal quickly and return to long, lonely training miles in the country roads surrounding our Portland home.

Hell, I’m so inspired I might even join him.

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